- Written & Directed & Choreographed by Carolyn White
- Starring Carolyn White, Emmett Rosenbaum, Justin Sasserath, Ami Gillon
- Edited by Walt Frasier
- We do not own ANY of the following
CGI Animation of Space provided by Pixels https://www.pexels.com/video/cgi-animation-of-space-854228/
Billie Karaoke track purchased via
https://www.karaoke-version.com/mp3-backingtrack/billie-eilish/bad-guy.html - Additional Music provided by Walt Frasier on Piano
Blues based on “You deserve a break today” McDonald’s Jingle
Hallelujah Chorus, Messiah by George Frederic Handel Imperial
March from Star Wars by John Williams
New classes for kids & teens forming every month.
- Comedy 4 Teens
- Comedy 4 Kids
- Advanced comedy classes for kids by invitation only. Improv, Stand-Up and Sketch Comedy Weekly online classes available now. See you back in TIMES SQUARE soon!!!
- http://www.eightimprov.biz
- http://www.improv4kids.com
Starts with black screen, and cuts to girl being thrown into ball pit–McDonald’s ball pit
Girl:
Oh my gawsh! Is this…McDonalds? I LOVE fast food…but, why am I here?
Waiting Room Person:
Oh you’re here, a little late though…must be a glitch in the system
Girl:
What, no! I’m always fashionably late for things.
Waiting Room Person:
I see…well, we’ll have you out of here in just a second. Oh, by the way, you’re dead. Sorry about that, but welcome to burgertory.
Girl:
Are you kidding me?! I can’t be dead, I still have things to do! Like…post about how I don’t get fake tans or wear makeup on Instagram! I thought purgatory meant I was a ghost.
Waiting Room Person:
Ma’m, I apologize, but it’s not my job to console the deceased. The best I can do is offer you is a lukewarm McFlurry. And it’s BURGERtory. Some guy misspelled purgatory, so a McDonald’s was built.
Girl:
Wow, some people just don’t have common sense. #can’t relate. (Gets handed drink) Oooh yasss, that looks so delish. I bet you’ve met tons of other girls who wouldn’t dare to even look at one of these, but I’m nothing like them! I bet they only like salads, so shallow am I right?
Waiting Room Person:
Okay…I’m just about to send you up to heaven, but don’t get too excited, this is just a formality. We have to see what God thinks of you.
Girl:
Wdym? I’m totally heaven material. I’m not fake, I love video games, and I love rock music! I bet you don’t have anyone like that up there!
Waiting Room Person:
Note to God…girl talks in abbreviations…alright. I think we’re all set to go. (Pushes button)
Girl:
I must tell you, unlike some people, (Trailing off) I’m super anxious and loyal to my boyfriend–
Waiting Room Person:
Oof. Good luck God.
Girl:
I’m so glad I didn’t fix my hair today. I know some people would, but I like it messy.
God:
Welcome to heaven! Where you can live in luxury for all of–are you still talking about your hair?
Girl:
Oh, sorry, I just wanted to point out that I’m so unique that I didn’t even wash it this morning. I bet other girls wouldn’t be caught dead like that, but not me!
God:
(To themself) Well, we all have our flaws…
Girl:
Oh, and do you have Call of Duty up here? I like to play video games while I bet other girls are getting their nails done. They’re so typical, lol.
God:
Ahem. Right, well, I see a strong lack of…personality coming from you, so–
Girl:
What r u saying? I’m just exposing all the horrible things other women do, and how I’m so much different and better than them!
God:
Riiight. Well, I think you’ll be a much better fit down in hell…sooo, bye.
Girl:
(Trailing off) Probably no other girls get to meet Satan–
Satan:
Who’s this girl? She doesn’t seem like a bad person…ugh, probably reads books and teaches children to write…
Girl:
Actually, I run a full time blog called Quirkchat! It’s where all special girls can get together, and explain how hard it is to be an outcast for not wearing skinny jeans.
Satan:
…You’ll fit in just fine.
Girl:
EXCUSE ME?!
Satan:
…w-what?
Girl:
NO, no no no no!
Satan:
…I-…what’s the problem?
Girl:
- Don’t. Fit. In. I can’t believe you would even say that I don’t want to be like other girls I want to be my own person how could you even compare me to those ordinary and common girls they don’t have any defining qualities–
(The ground begins to shake)
Satan:
W-what’s happening?!
(God and Waiting Room Person appear in hell)
Waiting Room Person:
Her quirkiness is ripping a hole in the system! She’s too unusual for the afterlife! If we don’t do something soon, the whole universe could collapse!
Girl:
–and I don’t get why they even exist I mean they’re clones they all put gunk all over their faces and they only care about lipstick breaking boys hearts and clothes! I have no clue why–
(God, thinking quickly, pulls out his iPhone, goes onto iTunes, and starts playing…)
God:
Billie Eillish songs should calm her down…
Satan:
How do you know?
God:
I went on the “not like other girls reddit page.”
(God plays a song)
Girl
–I’m so outdoorsy and…other people…can’t…understand–Is that Billie? Omg she’s my queen!! (Starts lip syncing to Bad Guy)
Waiting Room Person:
It’s a pretty good song…
God:
Yeah, I never realized that…
Satan:
I don’t think any normal people listen to Billie…
Waiting Room Person, God, and Satan:
(Turning into quirky girls–high pitched voices and super enthusiastic) We must be unique because of our specific song preferences!
Girl:
Now you’re getting it!
(They all start humming to the song)